Epic quotes from tonight

Took a Pakistanian girl to a hookah lounge. We are dropping f bombs and making horrible generalizations about alot of groups. She then told me a story about as a retail clerk, she got cussed out in Spanish, because she did not understand Spanish. So she returned the cuss out in Arabic. She said the lady just stood there, like what the fuck just happened.

Second story

I pick up 4 oriental young men from a Asian tea room. They are total hipsters. Hair, clothes, backpacks, phones with power supplies, and even a hockey like face mask. GPS totally goofed up on me. I was preparing to take a left turn from under the highway, I took the left turn while realizing too late that I no longer had the green light.  I have never been so close to getting hit by 3 cars....during the entire turn I am screaming FUCK ME!!FUCK ME FUCK ME!@ They are all screaming like little girls.....we did not get hit....the dude next to me said: "THAT WAS DOPE"

OMG