Squirrel

Sometimes I pick up peoe that are desperate for my services. Uber does not service the majority of the city I live in. I got a call. 3 ladies stranded in Burleson. Since they were upset, the phone call was a bit tense. But by the time I got there, they had settled down.

On the way to grand prairie, we sang Prince and Michael Jackson. They spotted my candy basket, indulged in mints. Then offered extra mints to one lady. She had 'wifely duties to perform. 7 minutes of wifely duties.

When we arrived at their destination, I offered her another piece of candy. I told her, please be careful and I hope that you are finished in 6 minutes.

Nice road

I had a young man in my car this morning. He waits tables at on the border. Training to be a bartender. He also does home improvement on the side.

We are on 635 where it crosses over Dallas North tollaway. He mentions that he worked on this 2 mile stretch for 2 years.

I asked him if he carved his name into the cement anywhere. 'Sergio was here'. No. But he thought it was a good idea. I then told him that stretch of 635 was my favorite part of the highway. So smooth and easy to drive on.....he thought I was serious. Thanks. But actually, I was thought it was pretty funny. I thought I was pretty funny.

Last night I met my brother to get Trevor. They went snowboarding in Colorado. We met at the love's truck stop in Burleson. We had so much fun.

Keith Miller and Tommy met us too. My brother lives on a highly modified prevost Bus. Tommy asked to use the bathroom. Jason shows him how to use the toilet and inferred that he would appreciate if he did not pee everywhere.  We were all standing around. I said, you know, Tommy has epilepsy. Jason was like oh wow. I said yeah. But he only has seizures when he is urinating........then I made motion like he was peeing everywhere.......too funny.

So we are outside the bus being silly. Jason needs to leave but there was an 18 wheeler block the way, a woman is leaned up against it, so we are just hanging out. THEN a massive row truck comes in really fast, screeches to a stop. The guy flies out of the cab, run around the truck. Fast walks to the 18 wheeler, and then starts pick in the door lock 🔐. We had so much fun at their expense. We were brutal. THEN after he got the door unlocked, she goes back to the bay and starts to clean her windows....she really deserved everything she got.....

We should have felt bad. But we didn't.

April 2016

On the way to taking a rider home, we stopped at 7-11 for cat food. I told him that I was going to use the facilities against my better judgement. As most of you know by now, 7-11, in my experience, have the most disgusting bathrooms.

This one was no different. It was horrible. In order to keep it in the same shape as it ways when I entered, i peed on the floor. Somewhat by accident. (Believe me???) My hovering skills are lacking.

Boxes

We are moving. I have been collecting boxes. Liquor store boxes. I asked Trevor to get them out of the car for me. Did you get the boxes out of the trunk?? Yeah Yeah yeah.....

I pick up my first passenger, one of my many lyft husbands, but my favorite, John Spivey. He comes back to the car door. Looks like you like vodka.

Damn. No airport runs for me today.

Over the weekend I took care of out of town guests of a regular passenger. All the driving was between mansfield and burleson.

Some things that were noted:

1. There are people that still print off map quest directions. And then proceed to get lost
2. You can instantly like people
3. 13 bottles of wine between 6 people is a lot of wine
4. The people you liked sober, you can still like when they are drunk
5. When invited to eat with the group, accept the invitation

At dinner, the boss was compared to what I learned was an asshole. The boss began filling up a straw with water and squirting it on the person who said it. Every time he squirted, she said: stop wetting me. You wet me. Stop wetting me. She did get pretty wet. It was hilarious. Somehow at dinner, guests at another table were encouraged to wet her. Instead of wetting her, one young man showed us his nipples. Nipples at dinner. Nice.

They had plans for bloody marys the next morning......maybe aftrrnoon.

All and all a good night. Entertaining. Good night..

I am your personal shopper

Picked up a young lady from the airport. The uber account was her father's. So all the communication to pick her up, went through him. We finally figured it out. She had two massive bags. One had to go in the backseat. They were UGE.

As we are traveling to dallas, we are getting along really well. She is a delightful girl. She suggests that I driver her around all afternoon. Sure. Why not.

One of the errands, look at used bedroom furniture from offer up. We drove to garland. On our way, I was advising about the things to look for when examining used furniture. Dovetail joints. She was going to spend 600 bucks. I wanted to make sure she got quality stuff. She did not know what dovetail joints were.

I tried to explain. But it was hard to do and drive. So, I asked her if she would like me to go in with her. She was like, oh please!! So I did. The furniture was beautiful. I would not have paid 650 for it. But I was not there to advise her in that way. I was there to check furniture joints. That is what I did.

Strangers helping strangers.

We had great fun. 3 hours. Exchanged phone numbers. I will probably be doing some sewing and more driving for her.

Great connection with a sweet girl.

Jumping jack flash

Whenever I get a ping at the airport, I always call the passenger. Uber tells me C15-26. I need to know the specific gate number, what they are wearing and instruct them to wait in the correct pick up zone.

So, that is what I did when I got Harold's ping. Very nice man. He was at c19 wearing shorts and a blue and white stripped shirt. He assured me that he was the only one in such an outfit. I thanked him for dressing unlike anyone else at gate c19. I told him. that I am in a blue honda civic and about 2 minutes away. He said great. When I see you I will start doing jumping Jack's so you can't miss me. I laughed. I said great. Looking forward to that. He then backed off, and said really no. He would not be doing jumping Jacks. I told him that, he had already committed, and I would be disappointed if he did not. He said, not going to happen.

So, I turn the corner, approach c19. I see Harold. He sees me. I flash my lights to signal that I see him. He starts doing jumping Jacks.

Top 10 ride of all time.

Slap fight

March 27, 2016

I had two very over the top gay men in my car. They were grabassing and just being two drunk dudes, that kiss each other.

Towards the end of the trip, they started threatening who was going to slap who.....one then said for about the sixth time, STOP WE ARE NOT ALONE. Then asked me, are we getting on your nerves? No, I replied. But I think you should slap the shit out of him.

Then they loved me.